Right now I'm drinking a Smirnoff Ice (Wild Grape flavor). I usually prefer Lindemann's Bin 65 Chardonnay, but the liquor stores aren't open on New Year's Day and the grocery stores in these parts don't sell wine.
I just smashed a wine glass against my sink and while trying to clean it up I cut myself. It's fitting. I did it on purpose. (The smashing - not the cutting.) I don't know if I'm quite ready to say this sickly sweet malt beverage I'm nursing at the moment is the last drink I'll ever take, but I'm ready to say there won't be anymore wine in this apartment. Strike that, no more alcohol in this apartment. So I'm going to try to enjoy this even though I really am not in the mood.
I just don't trust myself to leave it in the refrigerator for tomorrow, when I'll just get tempted and then want more. So I'm forcing it down because I refuse to waste it. I may be a day late on my resolution, but I'm no less resolute.
I'm reading a book about how to quit drinking without AA. Sometime when I'm not drunk I'll bother to post a link to Amazon in case anybody stumbles across this blog and maybe I'll get a cut of the sale. Right now, I'm too lazy to go look up the ISBN. Journaling was important, and since I don't have a journal and I'm a techno-geek, I decided to do it electronically.
More later. I'm going to go put on some loud music and sing out loud and indulge in this last drink. Tomorrow, I'll be sober and more in the mood to write something profound. And maybe not sing so loudly, because in all honesty, nobody wants to hear me sing.
